Marrying an Inmate

Marrying an Inmate

In a perfect world, two people love each other, go to the courthouse and become husband and wife. When he is incarcerated, it becomes more complicated. Four steps to getting married to an inmate.
  1. Visit in person. It is important to spend time together face-to-face, whether or not you knew him before prison or you met after he was locked up. You both should understand what being married would entail. Several months of visitation will give you time to discuss your commitment to each other.
  2. Choose the date. Rather than choose an exact date, choose a month in which you would like to marry. The decision is up to the warden. Don’t get set on a date that the Warden might refuse. Request a particular month, not a date.
  3. Meet with or phone the prison clergy. It’s ultimately up to the warden to decide if you and your fiancé can marry in prison, but it can’t hurt to discuss it with the prison pastor. Putting his mind at ease about the union might encourage him to speak to the warden on your fiancé’s behalf.
  4. Help your fiancé compose a letter of request. The letter should ask permission to marry, name you, request the month you two have chosen and list reasons he believes marriage will help him rehabilitate.
It has to come from him but you can include one from you as well. Use your letter to demonstrate stability. How long you’ve held your job, if you have a stable home, and details regarding your family support are all good things to bring up in the letter. My fiance’s on parole. Can we still get married? Final thoughts:  Many wardens turn down initial requests to see if the couple is serious enough to stay together and then ask again a few months later. If your request is denied, don’t panic. Just keep visiting, have your fiancé continue being a model prisoner and in a couple of months ask again.