So you just had a great first date with a handsome/beautiful young fellow/lady, or you just had a second or third date, or you just shared your first kiss or you're starting to talk about moving in or you're talking about whether or not to take the next step. Put the brakes on for a second and ask yourself: is there anything that you find suspicious, weird, curious, or odd about them? Are you thinking of running a background check or doing a little research on them?
If so, do it now.
Why be in such a hurry? Well ask yourself this: if you had just finished a first date with somebody and then found out that they had done a background check on you, would you be hurt? Would you feel as if they had broken your trust?
Probably not. There are a lot of weirdoes out there and there's nothing wrong with preferring to be safe rather than sorry. And besides, you've got nothing to hide, right?
Now what if your wife or husband conducted a background check on you? What if you found out that your longtime boyfriend or girlfriend was spying on you and checking your cell phone for secret messages to find out if you're cheating or hooked on drugs or running an elaborate four-year scam on them?
After a year with a partner, any suspicions can quickly escalate into a serious breach of trust. In the early stages of a relationship, it's more acceptable to have these suspicions and to follow up on them. And of course, if you do find anything, it's better to know now that, say, your boyfriend's tattoo is the same used by a prominent street gang in L.A. than it is to find out a year from now.