If you enjoy writing letters and getting letters written to you, inmate pen pals can give you an outlet. Inmates make captive audiences, since they probably aren’t going anywhere soon and they generally love getting mail and making new friends on the outside.  Your family is only concerned for you. Use common sense in choosing and maintaining your pen pal friendships and soon your family members may come around. While having an inmate pen pal can be fun, it also comes with some responsibility. Inmates are not toys that can be picked up, played with and discarded after awhile. They are real people, with actual emotions and opinions. If you decide to write to an inmate, commit to writing for at least three months before deciding whether to continue. Obviously, if the inmate becomes abusive, fails to write back, or makes you uncomfortable, stop corresponding immediately. Otherwise, you might try giving your inmate some time to get to know you and begin to show you who he or she is before deciding whether to continue the pen pal friendship.  If after several months you feel it is not a good match, write a letter letting the person know you won’t be continuing the friendship. Just stopping your letters with no explanation will make the inmate worry that something has happened to you. While most inmate pen pals are in it for friendship and someone new to talk with, there are those who use pen pal services to try and obtain money. Don’t send money for your pen pal – period. Make it clear if he asks that you don’t have the ability to help him financially. If he brings it up a couple of more times, consider finding a new pen pal. If you have friends who have loved ones in jails or prisons, you might ask them to find out who needs a pen pal. There are also many online sites that advertise for pen pals for inmates. Check with churches and civic organizations to see if they have an inmate pen pal program you can join. Both male and female pen pals can be found in prisons across the nation. That first letter can be difficult. After all, you are writing to someone you have never met. Keep it short, introduce yourself with a little information and invite the person to write back. It often makes people feel more comfortable having letters sent to a P.O. Box, and if you do, be sure to use that return address on your mailing envelope. Jailhouse Shock My husband corresponded with inmates for years behind my back—and now they're at our door E-Mail Pen Pal Sites Give Prisoners a Link to the World Outside