With the exception of the trial, your husband’s parole hearing may be the most stressful part of his experience with the Department of Justice and the judicial system. Whether or not you should attend depends on several factors: His wishes: if your husband tells you not to attend, ask him why not. Some inmates believe they are protecting and sparing their loved ones by not having them hear what will be said. Assure him that you have come this far and there is nothing that can be said that will make you leave him. Reassure him you want to be there to support him. Travel Distance:  Parole hearings are held at the prison. If you have to travel far, money is tight and your boss won’t be happy, you might want to consider staying home. Do send your husband an encouraging letter as well as a separate letter he can submit to the Parole Board if he wishes. Potential Problems: While no one can force you to speak at a parole hearing, it is possible you will be asked some questions if you are there. If you are not comfortable with this possibility, it might be better to stay home. Your shyness may interfere with your ability to answer the board, and the board could view it as you not being truly behind the idea of your husband being paroled. Your Desires: If you do want to speak as a character reference, show your support and be there to let the board know you are waiting for him to come home. Make plans to attend. Final thoughts: Parole hearings are stressful but they are the first step to your husband coming home. Even if they turn him down the first time, it is good practice for him. He will know what to expect for future hearings. Being there for him is important if you can do it. Check out: How Can I Help My Inmate’s Chances for Parole? Judge Halts Enforcement of Laws Restricting Parole Decisions