Being in Love with a Prisoner

Kia is a 35-year old woman who is in love with a man in prison. She is a person of Faith. She is confident and sure about herself. In fact, she is one of the most grounded, gorgeous and kind women I know. She is open and honest and she jumped at the opportunity to share her love story.

“I love that man!” She often says with the brightest smile. Her fiancé’ is serving 45 years in prison. He has been incarcerated for 11 years, and Kia is convinced that he will be home in the near future. She has vowed to wait for him because she does not believe that there is another human being who fits her soul as perfectly as he does.

Oftentimes Kia has what I call “her little anxiety attacks,” when she does not hear from her fiancé via email or telephone. When she does not speak to him, or their correspondence is delayed, she panics. She doesn’t necessarily think that some harm has come to him, she just “feels off balance.”

Kia said to me, “Just like you need food every day, I need to hear from him every day. Our conversations are a part of my nutrition.”

Video: Women in Love with Prisoners

Kia’s fiancé experiences much insecurity. I can only imagine how he feels being confined, dealing with incarceration and being in love with a beautiful woman. He cannot provide for her, protect her, or even hug her. Kia is happy to announce that the most important thing her fiancé does is he prays for her.

Kia’s fiancé is incarcerated in USP MCCreary in Kentucky. Due to a minor legal matter of her own; she was unable to visit him. She is now clear to visit her soul mate, and she has dreams about taking the 8-hour drive to Kentucky. She is making plans right now to reunite with the love of her life.

Kia admits to being high maintenance and has decided to hire a personal concierge service to do the driving for her. She has not seen her fiancé since 2008. When she sees him, she imagines that the both of them will be smiling widely. Prior to their separation, Kia and her fiancé always greeted one another with a smile.

I asked Kia what she thinks it will feel like to have her fiancé hold her. “Like Butter,” she said. She is looking forward to sharing everything she has been through with him, good, bad and indifferent. The limited phone calls and emails are never enough. She always feels that the calls end too soon and the emails are never long enough.

Everything she does now and plans to do in the future have her fiancé in mind. Right now, all she wants to do is see him. “I want to visit him just as bad as I want him to come home.”

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About Lashonia Etheridge-Bey

Lashonia Etheridge-Bey is a Public Speaker who can candidly and articulately speak to the consequences of youth violence, the effects of incarceration and the challenges of reentry into society. Read Lashonia's Full BIO Here 


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