Whether you met while he was in prison or you knew him before he went in, all you know is when he popped the question your heart melted. Now you are engaged. Obviously, the traditional wedding is out of the question, but can you get married at all while he is incarcerated? Each state and prison determines the rules that inmates have to live by. Some prisons don’t allow inmates to marry while incarcerated. Others allow marriages between an inmate and a non-inmate, as long as the proper process is followed. The first step in all cases is to request permission to marry. While it seems strange that two people who are in love have to ask permission to do something that is not illegal, but that is the way it is. Most prisons require you to ultimately get permission from the warden. It helps to get someone on your side before asking. Have your fiancé talk to the prison Chaplin. A Chaplin is often willing to speak with you by phone or in person, and speak with your fiancé. If he believes the two of you are truly in love and understand the hardships of a prison marriage, he may speak to the warden on your behalf. While he doesn’t make the final decision, the Chaplin’s support might help convince the warden to give the stamp of approval. If you are on probation, it will be much more difficult, but it can be done. You need to go see your probation officer in person. Explain that you want authorization to marry your fiancé. Ask for their permission and a letter stating that you have their consent for you to marry him. Your P.O. might have questions about your plans. Be open and honest with your answers and be non-confrontational. Remember, this person can stop your nuptials if desired, so you want to remain on his or her good side. Write to the warden. This is where you ask permission. Your boyfriend also needs to write to the warden and request permission. Include in your letter how you plan to stay connected with your fiancé if the marriage is granted. You will write, talk on the phone, visit in person etc. Wardens would rather deny a request than to set up a marriage that is poorly thought out, because if you walk away, they are stuck with a heartbroken angry inmate to deal with. Lay out your plans for the future and request the go-ahead to marry. Your fiancé will be given the yes or no, and it is up to him to tell you. If it is yes, your fiancé will be given the rules and regulations that must be followed for the wedding.  If it is no, which is not uncommon with the first request, you can reapply. Wait six months and try again. Many couples marry while one is incarcerated. It usually just takes patience, a plan, and commitment to keep trying until it can be done. Oprah: Inside a Marriage Behind Bars Ja Rules Talks Prison and the Secret to His Marriage