I decided to sit and talk a while with one of my best friends. She served 11 years with me during the18 years I was incarcerated.
We were like sisters and are very privileged to have had the opportunity to preserve our friendship.
I asked her to share with me her thoughts about incarceration and reentry. She had a blank stare on her face; then, she began:
When I came home I thought I was going to get a job right away, regain custody of my children and rebuild my bond with them. I was sadly mistaken.It took two months to get a job after being turned down on numerous occasions due to an inability to pass the background check. I already had custody of my youngest son who was conceived and delivered while I was incarcerated. I decided to take my son and relocate to Richmond, Virginia because I had a job opportunity there.My new life there consisted of a job as an administrative assistant for a tax accounting firm. I met someone, fell in love and got pregnant.
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Come to find out my boss was stealing money. She got audited, her company got shut down, and I was out of a job immediately. The guy I fell in love turned out to be a jerk, and I came back home to Washington, DC.I had my son with me and I was pregnant with my baby boy at this point. I still had to fight tooth and nail for my two oldest children who were living in New York with their grandparents.I remember those long road trips back and forth to court in New York, crying my eyes out. I couldn’t believe I had to fight so hard for my own children.
Check out: Female Inmates Reunite with the Children photosIt took a year before I was granted full custody of my kids. At that point, I was able to obtain my own apartment and I had a temporary job at District of Columbia Auditing. The company wanted to hire me permanently, but after the extensive background check I was fired on the spot.I ended up with a part-time job at Shopper’s Food Warehouse, while attempting to provide for three children. And, I was pregnant. I had to be placed on bed rest and was subsequently fired due to my high-risk pregnancy.
Related: Getting a job and learning to hold onto one after leaving prisonIt’s been 7 years now, and thankfully I have maintained custody of my children. I was recently hired with the District Government.I am continuing to rebuild my bond with my children who initially were angry, bitter and hostile. When I first came home my children were not very receptive to me, and it was a struggle to get to know one another and maintain stability.
I asked my friend how long she thinks it takes to reintegrate and she replied, “I’m still reintegrating…. maybe ten years.”
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